Chapter 76. If This Happens, I’m Totally Screwed...
Previously on!
I made not a bamboo helicopter, but a bamboo bomb, and ended up half-destroying both the bamboo forest and the village!
The innocent villagers, who had suffered because of me, were furious, so I ran away to the underwater dungeon deep beneath the sea!
But then! Again! Because of another one of my mistakes, I got captured by the fishmen!
Fortunately(?) a man named Kang Tae-gong arrived before they killed me, and I somehow survived after agreeing to help the fishmen!
But now, I had absolutely no idea what would happen to my gaming life from here on out!
I had wrecked the village and the forest, betrayed humanity, sided with the fishmen, and now I was about to fight humans as a traitor to mankind.
Seriously, what the hell am I supposed to do now...?
“Haah... Why does my brain completely stop working whenever something sudden happens?”
“You don’t sound very confident.”
When things were urgent, she spoke casually.
When things calmed down, she became polite again.
This character setting was exhausting in more ways than one.
Her name was so unusual that I had already started remembering her simply as “Octopus Lady.”
I thought she would move around by sliding across the ground with her tentacles, but surprisingly, two of her tentacles were shaped almost like human legs and moved exactly like them.
The long, thick octopus legs that remained had wrapped themselves around her lower body after she came out of the water, forming something like a wide dress skirt.
Which somehow made her look even more grotesque.
Just imagine it.
A skirt covered in countless suction cups, writhing as though it were alive.
And every time she walked...
Click. Click.
It actually made footsteps.
The fishmen had covered some of it with cloth, but not enough to hide everything.
If I compared it to human clothing, it was basically a very revealing see-through outfit.
“If you win, I’ll do anything you ask. Kang Tae-gong is truly one of the worst enemies our people have.”
“Does he come here often?”
“He often brings outsiders and adventurers here. Like some kind of guide through a maze forest. He knows perfectly well that we can’t use our full strength against him!”
Ohhh.
So he was basically a carry service.
If I had known that beforehand, I could have just found him, handed him a bit of money, and had him bring me here.
Then none of this would have happened...
Information.
This was exactly why information was so important.
I really hoped the Village Chief was including some kind of intelligence network among all the preparations he was pouring money into.
Preferably one that collected information about players too.
Even now, he was already spending a ridiculous amount of money creating emergency hiding places, gathering useful people and equipment, and opening trade routes for large-scale distribution.
Considering how much all of that cost, I couldn’t even imagine how expensive proper information gathering would be.
“But... you can win, right?”
“We’ll find out once we fight.”
Unless this turned into one of those absurd stories where a main character trained only non-combat skills until one day they somehow became stronger than actual combat specialists...
I should win.
It would have been nice if I could estimate Kang Tae-gong’s strength by asking the fishmen, but apparently his class had a special advantage against aquatic creatures.
That made it hard to judge.
...Maybe he had brought combat-capable villagers with him?
No, wait!
I burned down the entire bamboo forest.
Considering bamboo was now limited, I couldn’t rule out the possibility that they had gathered fighters from somewhere else instead!
All to make absolutely sure they caught me!
They were going this far just to arrest a lunatic who looked crazy both inside and out...
I genuinely hadn’t expected this.
No, seriously.
I never thought they would go this far.
I had hidden inside a dungeon, and bamboo had become difficult to obtain.
Yet they still spent limited resources just to come after me this quickly?
“Kuaaaagh!!!”
The moment we approached the area, a scream rang out from beyond the corner.
It sounded like someone was collapsing while foaming at the mouth.
Seawater was already pouring into the castle through the hole that had been opened earlier.
If a scream could be heard this clearly even through all that noise, just what kind of horrible death was someone experiencing?
When we turned the corner, water had already risen to ankle height.
Considering there was a man-sized hole leading directly into the ocean floor...
Maybe I should be grateful it was only this deep.
Then—
“I! Descend!”
“Oh, you’re here. Let’s not make this troublesome. Just pay for the damages and settle things cleanly.”
Fast!
That response was way too mature.
Some strange “responsible adult” aura was coming from him.
Considering he apparently spent all his time fishing, maybe the actual player behind the character really was middle-aged.
And...
He came alone?
Was he that confident?
Because I...
I wasn’t feeling confident at all.
“I’ve already said too much to too many people. It’s hard for me to back down now.”
“Why wouldn’t you be able to? Is it a quest?”
“Uh... yes!”
I hadn’t checked.
But it was probably a quest.
If it wasn’t, I was calling Super Real directly.
I’d complain and tell them to at least pretend this was still a game.
I’d call the chairman himself if I had to.
“Haah. My house in the village collapsed because of you too. What are you going to do about that?”
“Silence! You wicked demon!”
“Huh? Ah, Octopus Lady, wait. Let us talk for a moment...”
She held a long staff that looked like twisted coral and shouted loudly, but she still couldn’t bring herself to step forward.
Looking carefully, all the other fishmen were frozen in place too.
The moment Kang Tae-gong appeared, none of them could move.
Did he have some kind of overwhelming advantage against marine creatures?
Considering the game’s setting probably had extremely high-level monsters living in the ocean, that sounded ridiculously broken.
Ah.
No, this wasn’t the important part.
First, I needed to calm down the angry Octopus Lady and negotiate with the old man trying to end this peacefully.
PvP wasn’t my thing.
Fighting other people?
I already had to think long and hard just to play games together with others.
Actually fighting them was definitely not for me.
“Do you know how angry the villagers upstairs are right now?”
“I can roughly imagine. But my situation isn’t exactly...”
“What are you doing?! Kill him!”
Please don’t hide behind me while saying that.
You’re making this very difficult for me.
I turned my head toward Kang Tae-gong.
We silently stared at each other for a few seconds.
Then, as though both of us realized there was no other choice, we nodded at the same time.
And immediately began fighting.
I was honestly moved by his consideration and understanding.
I almost wanted to cry.
The moment the battle began, several buffs from Octopus Lady settled over me.
They weren’t anywhere near Mallang’s level, but they were still quite strong.
If I had tried clearing this place like a proper dungeon, wouldn’t it have been incredibly difficult?
There was no guarantee that Octopus Lady was the only named monster here.
...Wait.
Now that I think about it...
I need to take the chains from this place!
Oh my god!
I completely forgot!
Let’s finish this quickly.
Clatter—!
“Huh?”
I pulled out all the chains I had secretly hidden inside the walls earlier.
In an instant, I formed a prison of chains around Kang Tae-gong.
Then, using my heavily buffed strength, I pulled with everything I had.
I successfully restrained him.
If I simply left him there, he would eventually burn to death.
But that would be a little too cruel.
“Sorry!”
“Heh. Well, this is something...”
CRACK!
