Chapter 10 – The Worst Day of My Life
Jeonghu watched Mancheon act like that with a satisfied smile on his face.
Did they bring me a couple of drunks instead of professionals today?
I was starting to feel uneasy, but for now, I decided to move on to the next step.
Jeonghu politely poured me a drink.
I really must have been much older than them.
“So, Jeonghu. How old are you this year?”
Ugh!
I had just said exactly what some old grandfather would say during a family gathering on a holiday.
“Yes. I’m 245 years old this year.”
“Really? You’re still quite young.”
Since I had already activated Grandpa Mode to maintain the atmosphere, I figured I should keep it going a little longer.
This was my chance to clearly establish who stood above whom.
“Then how old is Mancheon this year?”
I asked while pouring drinks for Jeonghu and Mancheon.
“Yes, sir! I’m only 976 years old this year.”
Mancheon was a lively old man who knew how to play along with this kind of atmosphere.
He was probably the type who loved alcohol so much that he had to drink a glass every night before going to sleep.
“I see... According to Arang, I’m 1,252 years old this year.”
“Then you’re more than a hundred years older than my father.”
Hearing Jeonghu say that meant even Jeongcheon, the Commander of the Dead Spirits, was younger than me.
“But Inhwang-nim, what exactly is your relationship with Princess Arang...?”
It seemed we could finally get to the main topic.
“Before that, what are you all doing? Aren’t we drinking?”
Even to my own ears, everything coming out of my mouth sounded painfully old-fashioned.
I was starting to wonder whether I had always had the soul of an old man buried somewhere inside me.
“Inhwang-nim should drink first...”
Mancheon spoke carefully.
“Oh, is that how it works? Then let’s all drink together.”
Ugh. When can I turn off Grandpa Mode?
Before that, I took a sip.
I wanted to see just how delicious this liquor called Hell Fragrance was, considering how much these guys had bragged about it.
Whoa! Why is this so good?
The Life Regression Tea I had drunk when I first met Arang had been amazing too, but the Hell Fragrance Jeonghu brought was absolutely incredible.
Now I understood why they had made such a fuss over it.
First of all, its alcohol content seemed to be around forty-five percent, about the same as hard liquor.
But the instant I drank it, a refreshing fruity fragrance filled my mouth.
It wasn’t pear.
It wasn’t pineapple either.
At the same time, the sharp sting unique to alcohol tingled against my tongue.
As it slid down my throat, the burning heat of strong liquor gently caressed my esophagus.
And when it finally reached my stomach, the warmth of the alcohol spread through my blood vessels, and a pleasant buzz slowly bloomed through my body like a chrysanthemum flower.
“Khaa! This really is a legendary liquor!”
“Inhwang-nim, you certainly know your alcohol.”
Jeonghu spoke proudly after hearing my admiration.
“But why is such a delicious drink called Hell Fragrance? It could easily be called Heaven Fragrance instead.”
It was a perfectly reasonable question.
“Well, about that...”
Jeonghu hesitated.
I looked at Mancheon.
Mancheon avoided my gaze.
Judging from their reactions, there was definitely something wrong with Hell Fragrance.
“The man who created Hell Fragrance was a master brewer named Lee Chansam from the Goryeo era. His brewing skills were so extraordinary that, even after he came to the Underworld, Yeomra-nim personally ordered him to create a special liquor.”
In the end, Jeonghu began explaining.
Even while he was alive, Lee Chansam’s liquor had been famous, but he could only produce it in small amounts.
Because of that, the king at the time imprisoned him and forced him to brew alcohol exclusively for the royal family.
Lee Chansam found it unbearably unfair.
Filled with resentment toward the king, he eventually took his own life.
After Lee Chansam arrived in the Underworld, the Great King Yeomra decided that his talent was too valuable to waste and appointed him as the head of a massive brewery capable of producing alcohol in huge quantities.
Lee Chansam didn’t want the position.
However, he couldn’t refuse the will of Great King Yeomra, the absolute ruler of Hell.
So he used his secret techniques and created one of the greatest liquors in existence.
“However, Lee Chansam absolutely hated people who drank alcohol. So he made it so that anyone who drinks more than one bottle will have a rotten stench coming from their mouth for one hour the next day. They say the smell is so horrible that you can see Hell itself, which is why the liquor was named Hell Fragrance.”
“That’s not alcohol. That’s a freaking curse. Is that why you only brought one bottle to be safe?”
I was speechless after hearing Jeonghu’s explanation.
“Yes.”
“Just how horrible does your breath have to smell for them to call it Hell Fragrance?”
“I once drank more than one bottle myself.”
This time, Mancheon spoke.
“Since it’s such a high-class liquor, I spent an entire month’s salary and bought two bottles...”
Mancheon’s face became not merely serious, but downright grim.
“And what happened?”
“Who am I, Inhwang-nim? Aren’t I the prison manager of Dosan Hell?”
“That’s right.”
“I honestly wanted to throw myself onto the Mountain of Blades and die.”
“......”
I was starting to wonder whether these guys were actually telling the truth.
Eh, but who cares? How could I leave something this delicious untouched?
I boldly shouted in front of them.
There was no need to worry about such trivial things when a legendary liquor was sitting right in front of me.
“Come on, raise your glasses. One shot!”
Anyway, the mood seemed to have reached its peak.
“Do you two know much about Arang, the Moon-Duty Reaper?”
I finally brought up the original purpose of this gathering.
“You mean Princess Arang?”
Jeonghu asked.
So Arang really was Chicken Grandpa’s daughter.
“Yeah. She said she’s 1,026 years old this year.”
“That should be correct.”
“Oh my, Inhwang-nim. Your glass is empty.”
Mancheon filled my glass.
And I took it in one shot!
“Today is her birthday, right?”
“That should be correct as well. My father prepared a gift for Princess Arang too.”
“Oh my. Inhwang-nim already emptied your glass again.”
Every time my glass became empty, Mancheon immediately filled it.
Apparently, drinking etiquette in the Underworld wasn’t much different from the world of the living.
This time, I drank half.
“Actually, I’m thinking about giving Arang a present too. What would be good?”
“Well... I believe my father bought her a pair of Twin Phoenix Earrings from the famous Mrs. Mago’s Perfect Jewelry on Phoenix Boulevard.”
“Oh my. Inhwang-nim’s glass tastes best when it’s full.”
This bastard Mancheon poured more alcohol even though my glass was still half full.
What was it they said about Western drinking culture again? Something about filling the glass even if someone only drinks a little? Is this guy following Western rules?
Then there was no reason to hesitate.
One shot!
“I guess women like jewelry whether they’re in this world or the Underworld.”
“My wife prefers clothes. She usually shops at the Fairy and Woodcutter Boutique on Vermilion Bird Boulevard.”
“You’re married?”
“Oh my, Inhwang-nim didn’t know? Captain Jeonghu’s wife was once Miss Wolgung Hang-a. Even among the famous celestial maidens of Yeomra Kingdom, she was considered an incredible beauty.”
Mancheon jumped into the conversation.
Despite having a rough, hairy face that reminded me of Zhang Fei, he was surprisingly talkative, just like me.
“Captain Jeonghu. Sorry to ask, but could you deliver a gift to Arang for me?”
From what I had heard, gifts for women were pretty similar whether they lived in this world or the Underworld.
The present I had already thought of didn’t seem like a bad idea.
“It’s a request from none other than Inhwang-nim. Of course I’ll do it.”
“Then prepare everything written here and give it to Arang.”
I handed Jeonghu the note I had prepared beforehand.
Jeonghu read it for a moment, then stared at my face as if surprised.
“Why? Is there a problem?”
“No. There’s no problem. I’ll give Princess Arang exactly what’s written on this note.”
Since I had entrusted it to the reliable Jeonghu, the gift problem seemed to be settled.
“All right. Since we have a little break, everyone take another drink.”
I asked them to drink so I could change the subject.
They seemed to be enjoying themselves while talking with me, so everyone finished their glass in one shot.
“What’s Arang’s reputation like? What about her personality?”
“In one sentence, she is a peerless talented woman blessed with literary skill, martial ability, beauty, and intelligence. She’s also very kindhearted, so nearly everyone in Yeomra Kingdom loves her.”
Jeonghu showered Arang with praise.
Arang was that amazing?
I was only half convinced.
“Oh my, if we compared her to the world of the living, even those girls called idols wouldn’t be able to compete with Princess Arang.”
Apparently, Mancheon couldn’t start a sentence without saying “Oh my.”
What a strange guy.
“All right, everyone. Another shot while we have the chance. Okay?”
To raise the mood again, I called for another round.
The alcohol seemed to be getting to them too, because they happily followed my lead and emptied their glasses in one shot.
“Chicken Grandpa... No, Yeomra-nim told me to capture the Three Evils of the Underworld. What kind of guys are they?”
Jeonghu was the captain of the Secret Reaper Squad, something similar to the National Intelligence Service in the living world, so I figured he would have plenty of information.
“The Three Evils of the Underworld... They are truly terrifying beings.”
Jeonghu’s face had turned red from the alcohol as he began explaining everything he knew.
The Three Evils of the Underworld suddenly appeared a thousand years ago.
They were so powerful that they nearly drove both Heaven and Hell to complete destruction.
At the time, among Heaven’s Four Great Generals, General Gwangroe, General Cheongeom, and even General Sucheon—who was said to be the strongest of the four—were completely erased from existence by their hands and fell into the Infinite Dark Cavern.
“Is that really true?”
“Yes. However, Inhwang-nim defeated the Three Evils of the Underworld and threw them into the Infinite Dark Cavern, a place from which they could never escape.”
The hells of Yeomra Kingdom were publicly known to have eight levels.
But according to Jeonghu, if even a spirit itself was destroyed, there was a region where it would fall into an eternal void and never be able to reincarnate again.
That place was the Infinite Dark Cavern, located at the very bottom of Hell.
It belonged neither to the world of the living nor the Underworld.
It was an absolute space of complete nothingness.
Even the Jade Emperor himself supposedly didn’t know when or how it had come into existence.
“Then how did the Three Evils of the Underworld escape from a place like the Infinite Dark Cavern?”
“We don’t know either. But it seems Taerang, who used to be the Day-Duty Reaper, discovered some kind of method.”
“Really?”
Something about Jeonghu’s explanation didn’t sit right with me.
However, he didn’t seem to know anything beyond that.
I picked up the bottle to pour Jeonghu another drink and noticed that it had become surprisingly light.
We had almost finished it.
“Yes... Thank you.”
Jeonghu gulped down the drink I poured for him.
“I heard from my father that he was nearly killed by the Great Power Demon back then, but Inhwang-nim saved him.”
“Oh my, the same thing happened to me. I was just a rookie working in Dosan Hell when that Great Power Demon bastard almost killed me. Then Inhwang-nim appeared and saved my life.”
Tears poured from Mancheon’s large, fierce-looking eyes as he spoke.
“Is that really true?”
To be honest, I found it hard to believe them.
The Inhwang they were talking about with such overwhelming gratitude was supposedly me.
There was absolutely no way I was that kind of heroic person.
Still, I felt grateful to them for saying those things, so I kept pouring them drinks.
Overcome with emotion, Jeonghu and Mancheon began filling each other’s glasses and drinking one after another.
Huh? Look at these guys.
I felt a bad omen coming.
“Inhwang-nim! Are you really the Inhwang I respected so much?!”
Jeonghu’s eyes were starting to roll strangely.
Huh?! Why did this guy’s mood suddenly change? Aren’t you supposed to be diligent and reliable?
“Captain Jeonghu, what’s wrong with you? We haven’t even finished one bottle yet. Don’t tell me you’re already wasted.”
My anxiety rapidly increased.
I had seen people at the police station get drunk, hurt each other’s feelings, start fighting, and then scream that they were going to sue one another more times than I could count.
“Taste? Am I a side dish? Why do I need a taste? And where are you telling me to go? Do I even have anywhere to go right now?”
Watching Jeonghu ramble incoherently set off an emergency alarm inside my head louder than a police siren.
“Hey! Jeonghu! What kind of way is that to speak to Inhwang-nim?!”
Mancheon even pointed his finger directly at Jeonghu.
At that moment, colorful nightclub strobe lights seemed to flash wildly inside my head.
“Hey, Mancheon! Are you talking back to your superior?”
“Y-You little brat! So what if you’re my superior?! I’m a hundred times older than you!”
“Hey, hey! Both of you, stop! This is going to end badly!”
Trying to stop them was useless.
They looked ready to jump up and grab each other by the collar.
There was an old saying that once a drunkard got going, even the Great King Yeomra himself couldn’t make him listen.
As the atmosphere became increasingly violent, I even began to feel fear.
This is the world of the living. If these guys fight here, won’t they destroy my entire officetel?
To prevent the worst possible tragedy, I had no choice but to use an emergency measure.
I quickly opened my right hand and activated the Saryeong Jijonpae.
Hey, Jijonpae! Send these guys back immediately!
The Jijonpae instantly returned Jeonghu and Mancheon to the Underworld.
Apparently, the Jijonpae could not only summon beings but send them back as well.
“Whew... That was close.”
If those two had truly lost control and started fighting seriously, this place might have turned into ruins like the city after the AvenXers fought those aliens.
Whatever. I’m pleasantly drunk anyway. I’ll just sleep.
Without even bothering to clean up the bottle or snacks, I collapsed right there and fell asleep.
The next day.
I woke up clutching my head, which felt like it was about to split apart from the powerful Hell Fragrance.
Why do I feel like this? I thought Hell Fragrance wasn’t supposed to give you a hangover.
Then I suddenly felt a foul smell rising from deep inside my stomach and creeping into my mouth.
Huh...? No way...
The foul odor grew stronger and stronger.
This can’t be! They said it was fine as long as I didn’t drink more than one bottle!
There was clearly only one bottle on the table.
With a horrible feeling, I picked it up and examined it carefully.
Written in tiny letters in one corner of the bottle was a warning.
[WARNING! The deceased must never drink more than one bottle. The living must never drink more than half a bottle!]
Damn it...
The nasty smell had already evolved into something far worse than sewage.
“Aaaaargh! My nose is rotting!”
I screamed.
It honestly felt as though I could see Dosan Hell before my eyes.
No.
Maybe even Avici Hell.
“Where’s the GaXrin?! GaXrin!”
I rushed into the bathroom, grabbed a one-liter bottle of GaXrin, and drank the entire thing like cola.
The smell still didn’t disappear.
“Gaaaaah!”
Hell Fragrance truly was a cursed liquor of terror.
For the next hour, I suffered so badly from the horrible stench that I smashed my head against the wall dozens of times.
Fortunately, after exactly one hour, the smell finally disappeared.
But just when I was already completely exhausted, another disaster arrived.
A side effect of drinking an entire bottle of GaXrin...
Diarrhea.
I spent the entire day running back and forth to the bathroom until I was practically half dead.
It was the worst day of my life.
